The Query Letter that Snagged Me a 3-Book Contract

On March 8, 2017 I received a three-book offer from Kensington Press for my Regency Era romance trilogy, The Outcasts.

Here is a bit of background on my query letter. I started writing in 2013 and finished my first novel that December. And then I started another and another and another. Over the next three years I sent out a total of three query letters. All three letters received a polite “no thank you.”

Needless to say, I did not spend much time querying. It was not until I had entered a dozen contests, and either won or was a finalist in several of them, that my husband and beta readers pressured me to begin querying in earnest. In the Fall of 2016 I promised I would begin querying in the new year.

Hello 2017.

Not until late February did I get my act together and begin the agonizing process of writing a query, a horrific ordeal I had endured again and again over the prior 3.5 years. Each time I began a letter I’d end up overwhelmed and, ultimately, put the letter aside. I had tried writing queries for at least five of the books I’d written, thinking it might be easier with a different book. Nope.

And I wasn’t attempting these letters without doing my research, either. I read and re-read every damned entry on The Query Shark. While I didn’t submit a letter to The Shark I DID learn a lot from reading her comments. I highly recommend going to her website and doing what she tells you to do.

But the person who really gave me the kick in the pants I needed was Sherry Thomas. Ms. Thomas posted two real-live query letters back in 2006–two successful query letters.

Her letters were punchy and gripping. I don’t know if it helped me because I had read both books in her queries (I suspect it might have), but reading those letters was a serious light bulb moment.

Anyhow, it took me a good two weeks of writing and re-writing and critiques from three people I trust (huge thanks to Brantly, George, & Marla, my patient critique/beta readers) before I produced something I liked.

Here is my letter with comments following:


Dear Ms. Editor:

I was thrilled to see Kensington and Lyrical are both looking for historical romances with unique settings and unusual characters.

Dangerous is part of my Regency Era series, The Outcasts, which features non-traditional protagonists. I believe Dangerous would appeal to readers who enjoy the uncommon heroes/heroines of Sherry Thomas, Lisa Kleypas, and Elizabeth Hoyt.

Lady Euphemia Marlington hasn’t made her own decisions since she was captured by Corsairs and sold into Babba Hassan’s harem. Now the sultan is dead and every decision Mia makes leads to another, and another—until she ends up back in London facing her first Season at the age of thirty-two.

Dangerous opens with Mia’s father, the Duke of Carlisle, forcing her to make yet another decision: marry a man of his choosing or spend the rest of her life on a secluded rural estate.

After Adam de Courtney’s first two wives die under mysterious circumstances there isn’t a peer in England willing to let his daughter marry a man the ton calls The Murderous Marquess.

Nobody except the desperate Duke of Carlisle.

The two outcasts strike a deal neither intends to honor: Mia will get a marriage free of traditional restraints and Adam will get an heir. But deceit takes a back seat to desire and the scheming lovers learn that what they bargained for wasn’t what they wanted at all. They’re on the brink of leaving past disappointments behind them and embracing a future together when Mia’s biggest secret surfaces and threatens to tear them apart.

Now they must make the most dangerous decision of all: When to trust their own hearts.

In 2016 Dangerous and The Outcasts books won or placed in the following:

RWA 2016 Hearts Through History Contest:
1st Dangerous
2nd Scandalous
3rd Barbarous

RWA 2016 Beau Monde
2nd Dangerous

RWA 2016 Hot Prospect Contest
2nd Dangerous

RWA 2016 Windy City Contest
1st Dangerous Moonlight
3rd Dangerous

RWA 2016 Beacon
1st Dangerous Moonlight
3rd Dangerous

RWA 2016 Joyce Henderson Contest
1st Scandalous
3rd Dangerous Moonlight

RWA 2016 Fool for Love
1st Scandalous

RWA 2016 Houston, The Emily Contest
3rd Dangerous Moonlight

Thank you for taking the time to read about my book and please let me know if I can provide any other information.


First off, (and I know you’ve read this before ) do your research before querying. I had been researching for at least a year and Kensington Press was my top pick (yes, “go big or go home” is my motto).

I decided I would send off query letters in five-letter batches. In my first batch I sent one to an editor and four to agents. I am disorganized in many ways, so I made a calendar so I wouldn’t end up embarrassing myself a year down the line by re-querying the same person twice.

The part of Ms. Thomas’s letter I liked the most was the structure. It seemed a lot more useful to impart a bit of background and then tell where the book actually began.

I didn’t include my word count because I was using an online submitting program that already gathered that kind of information. Because I feel brevity is the key to getting a foot in the door, I felt I could create a little more white space by leaving it out.

I dithered and dithered about listing my contests. I finally decided to list all my historical romance placements, but leave out my spec fiction. The list looks a bit unwieldy, but my contests were the only writing-related credits I had.

So, there you have it. I hope this helps somebody out there as much as Ms. Thomas’s query letter helped me.

Don't be shy . . .